Brian Utley | 52 Books : 52 Weeks : ‘09

I completed Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely. That in itself is newsworthy since it feels like forever since I’ve completed anything. But because I was a few weeks ahead before I hit this literary wall that is The Summer, I’m still on track for my goal of 52.

This next book is another borrowed one from work. It’s called Getting Real: The Smarter, Faster, Easier Way To Build A Successful Web Application. I know, really exciting. It is.

I feel like I’m back on track, and I’m excited to hit the books again. FYI.

You all should watch the “Glee” pilot. Srsly.

Book Thoughts 37 Signals, Dan Ariely, Getting Real, Predictably Irrational

I’m struggling. With reading. Somehow I’ve lost track of the hours in a day, or perhaps life is catching up with me. Either way, I’m no longer soaring, breezing, drifting casually hundreds of hundreds of pages at a time. Each page is a laborious, energy draining TASK.

I read the two SQL books, and since then I’ve started and stopped a couple books. The CSS book was not read, way too much like a reference text. February, March, maybe. But not now, not in these circumstances.

I’m reading two books right now, which is a bad sign. It’s not a sign of studious reading, it’s a sign of non-commitment.

Today is the start of week #28. I’ve read 28 books. So, in a way, I’m right on target. But I know myself better than to rest on that. I’m behind, mentally, in my reading.

Despite being “right on track”, I haven’t completed a book since June 13th. That is a long time. Since then I’ve dropped 1 book, and started 2 others.

That “high” I would get from reading has gone away. My mind is still alive and active as it was when reading vehemently, but it has a new focus, something more important right now, my career. Not that reading was a distraction, because I often read late at night before bed, instead of watching T.V.. But the books, particularly the ones on SQL took me in a new direction, and it’s hard to read something else besides programming books when your mind wraps itself around a new topic that excites you. Luckily, the knowledge I gained from those two books has helped my career, which took an unexpected turn a couple weeks ago and now I’m doing much more amateur “database development” than I was ever required to do. I’m able to solve problems and streamline workflow much easier now.

So now I’m reading a book called “The Book” which is essentially a textbook on statistics centered around the game of baseball. It’s highly technical and mathematical and … dry.

I’m also reading “Predictably Irrational”, which discusses a developing field called “Behavioral Economics”. It’s a great book, and has helped get some of the excitement back.

I’m nowhere near completing either one.

So I’m on track, as far as numbers, but I’m lagging. And conversely, work is getting more and more interesting and my mind is focused almost singularly on that. Which for now is a great thing.

It’s July now, the Fall will soon be here. How then, will my resolution be?

Book Thoughts Dan Ariely, Predictably Irrational, The Book

Done with the two database books. *phew*. Sidenote: SQL is awesome. I’m going to tackle a little CSS next and learn how to design properly. I suppose I’m a bit hesitant to read three straight technical books, but lately these topics have been on my mind and I wanted to learn. So I started. Eventually I’ll stop. Maybe.

Book Thoughts Beginning CSS Design, Richard York

I started reading Beginning Database Design thinking that it would probably be the greatest book read so far.

And I was pretty much right.

I’m heading to San Francisco this weekend for a little getaway and I’ll be starting a new book. Most likely it will be the companion volume to Beginning Database Design, titled Beginning SQL Queries, but I haven’t made up my mind.

Still ahead of schedule.

Book Thoughts Beginning Database Design, Beginning SQL Queries, Clare Churcher

I’m jumping the shark a little here and tackling a computer book for book #27. I’ve been using databases for a couple years but have never taken the time to really learn more about the design, implementation, and maintenance of them. Databases excite me, so sue me.

Book Thoughts Beginning Database Design, Clare Churcher

I took a few days off reading and it was wonderful. I’ve been able to clear my head and, after 3 days, I’m ready to roll again.

I’ve chosen Look Me In The Eye to read next. It’s by John Elder Robison, the brother of Augusten Burroughs. Robison has Asperger’s syndrome, a less severe version of autism. It’s a memoir. I’m very excited.

This will be my last “regular” book for a couple weeks because I have a couple computer books en route about MySQL databases. I’ll write more about that in the coming weeks, my recent fascination with data storage and retrieval and all the neat little things I’ve been using databases for lately, ranging from baseball statistics to tracking my daughters cellphone usage. Good stuff. And she’s grounded.

This past week, since I haven’t been reading, I’ve been thinking a lot about reading. I’ve been looking at a few different aspects of my reading so far. Something that I track, but don’t show on the website, are my ratings. I rate each and every book on a 0-10 scale. I also track the number of pages and a rough estimation of word count based on a sample page.

But I started getting curious about certain statistics, mainly if there was any correlation between the size of the book and the rating it received. Would it be more likely that a smaller book would get a better rating because I could read it faster, retain more information, and the idea that smaller books might be more focused on an individual subject, and thus was chosen more carefully? Or would larger books get higher ratings? After all, I’m not going to tackle a longer book unless I know for sure that I’m going to enjoy it throughout, and give it a more analytical inspection before I purchase. Or, because it’s a longer book, I dive into it with more dedication, knowing it will require more commitment than previous books, and in turn, have an emotional buy-in before I even begin reading. I couldn’t see myself spending 12 hours during a given week on a certain book, finish it, and then say, “that was a piece of crap.”

So I decided to take my ratings and the page count, and stick it into a formula called Pearson’s Correlation Coefficient. This formula can measure the correlation between two data sets and tell you how much correlation there is. I had a small sample size, only 25 books, but I plugged in the numbers anyway. The “score” ranges from -1.0 to 1.0, with zero being no correlation and as you move to either side of zero, you get closer to having a correlation (that was very crude but I’m not a mathematician). A -1.0 score would mean as the page count decreases, the rating increases, and a +1.0 would mean as page count increases, rating increases. Everything in between shows a smaller and smaller correlation between the two sets of numbers. If you were to plot these numbers on a graph, you would see the points forming a shape going upwards, left to right. The opposite for a negative correlation.

So I’ve described, roughly, correlation (to the best of my ability). All this only to tell you that there was no correlation at all between the length of the books and the ratings I’ve given them. My Pearson’s score was 0.27 which is no correlation at all. And on a graph it looks like a totally random placement of data points creating no shape at all. X is my rating, and Y is page count.

Based on the numbers, I like and dislike books big and small, with no pattern either way. Wasn’t that fun?

Now I’m going to learn more about Asperger’s syndrome. Laters.

tip: if this wasn’t fun to read, you’re not alone, but reread it anyways while listening to Flaming Lips’ Free Radicals. it will be much better.

Book Thoughts John Robison, Look Me In The Eye

This weekend I started, and finished, Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs. It was much longer than Tribes, but because of the flu I was able to lie in bed for a large part of the holiday weekend and read (as much as you can lie in bed with 4 children). Now I’m faced with choosing a new book and I have a few to choose from that have been sitting around for a bit. I really don’t know what to read next. I’m a few weeks ahead so I may take my time with choosing the next book.

Book Thoughts Breaking Her Fall, Stephen Goodwin, Tribes

Tribes was excellent as well as a quick read. It’s time to think about what’s next!

Book Thoughts Seth Godin, Tribes

The Wisdom of Crowds was a true bear of a book. The parts that I was able to follow were great. The group experiments, how they apply to groups in general, blahblahblah. It was all good. But then…I started reading a page, looking at the page number, reading a page, looking at the page number. I did this for the last 100 pages at least. Reading for the sake of reading. I realized this, and two quotes bounced around in my head for those last 100 pages, contradictory ones.

“Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.”
- John Witherspoon

“A writer only begins a book. A reader finishes it.”
- Samuel Johnson

In this case, Samuel Johnson, sitting on my right shoulder, was of greater persuasion and I finished the book.

So now begins book #24. I’m way ahead of schedule, and that was the plan. I wanted to get ahead of schedule so that I could take a break and spend a few weeks doing other things, like maybe catching up on some television. But then I finish a book, and usually that last day I’m really starting to think about what book I’m going to tackle next. And that familiar feeling of anticipation starts to build, the desire to end and to begin again.

Today as I waited for my daughter to finish gymnastics I finished the last page of Crowds, placed the book into my bag and in virtually the same motion pulled out Tribes, book #24, by Seth Godin. 40 pages later, roughly 1/4 of the book, I realized that after I finished this one, I’d be almost a full month ahead of schedule. So now may be the time to tackle that history book I bought earlier this year. The 700 page one. And spend June learning about the history of my country. But you never know. I could just take the month off and catch up on The Mentalist. But then Groucho Marx whispers in my ear…

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

Catch you in a few days…

Ever wondered how to make Chocolate Tuxedo Strawberries?

Book Thoughts Seth Godin, Tribes

Thanks to the new “computational knowledge engine” at http://wolframalpha.com, my 22 books, or 6000+ pages, read so far this year equals about 3 million words, based on the average page word-count. That’s a lot of words.

Which leads me to think about the human brain and how much I’m able to actually absorb. Then I start breaking that down into energy consumed, “storage space”, recall, knowledge accrued, and the general neuron activity in my brain that is occurring, but going almost completely unnoticed by me. And then I get a headache.

What do you think the intake of 3 million words (in subjects you pursued) over a 4 1/2 month span would do for you?

Book Thoughts Wolfram Alpha

The Wisdom of Crowds by James Surowiecki. Just when Gilbert was starting to get me all into meditation and insane egocentricity, I thrust myself back into business literature. You know, like Bali, Balance. Patience. I’ll have plenty of time for labeling things from God, then crediting myself for it, later. I have things to write about our friend Elizabeth Gilbert, but that will come later. I rarely write a blog post about one book while reading another, but right now I want to read and writing is just getting in the way!

Book Thoughts Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert, James Surowiecki, The Wisdom of Crowds

Lots of thoughts about this one. I may or may not put them here.

Stay tuned.

Book Thoughts Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert

I finished Quirkology obviously, and told myself that since I was a couple weeks ahead I was going to take a little break. Then immediately after that I went downstairs and picked another book to read and began reading. (See obsession post earlier) I read A Sense of Urgency by John P. Kotter. I breezed through that in a couple days and it was good at times. Some books you read you have to be in the mood for. This was one of those “beer-goggle” books, it looked really good at the time, but later, under different circumstances, not so much.

But I was able to get some good ideas about work and pace and urgency and all in all, I’m glad I read it.

So again, I’m very much ahead of schedule but have chosen a book to read that is a no-doubter. It’s Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. This book has appeared everywhere, but most recently I watched the author’s presentation at the most recent TEDTalk. And it was really good. It even included a Tom Waits anecdote which is a very quick path to my heart. So book #22 is starting and this is beginning of week #20.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s TEDTalk:

Author Video, Book Thoughts Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert

So I decided, because I was ahead of schedule, that I would read a much larger book. So I started that and got about 100 pages in when I decided to start a different book, and that book is Quirkology by Richard Wiseman. I’m going to continue to read both books, the other being a 600-page book on Search Marketing, but only track the main book, or in other words, the weekly book. Some books are meant to be absorbed slowly, as is the case with a 600-page educational text on marketing. I will take my time reading that one, while still maintaining my weekly pace with much more manageable sub-500 page books.

So I started Quirkology yesterday and I’m almost finished with it. I gave it a “casual” glance Sunday afternoon and found myself in no time at all reading about a third of it. It’s good. But a lot of the studies and experiments that are talked about were talked about in a different book I’ve read this year (and published earlier) called Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. I would say that of the 25 or so psychological studies that the book has covered so far, about 10 of them I was already familiar with from Gladwell’s book. So that is a little disappointing.

I should finish this book tomorrow, and be about 20 days ahead of schedule.

20 books in and I’m noticing that this is quickly turning into an obsession. I can’t stop reading, I can’t stop shopping for books, I read with an almost manic fever, the consuming of information, of stories, the feeling of accomplishment. It’s like a drug, the opening of a new book, the creasing of the spine, the consumption and placement of the book on the “finished” shelf (which is becoming rather full).

I have 13 books in my “library” that haven’t been opened yet, that I can’t wait to get to. It’s almost as if I’m reading for the sole purpose of getting to the next one, and not because it’s a numbers game, but because the rate in which I read has dramatically increased, and my ability to retain information is increasing as well, so it’s the need, the thirst for words, for information. My brain is slowly being conditioned in this way. And I like it.

And all it takes is canceling cable and 90 minutes a day. SO worth it. I’ll cover my TV/Movie intake in a later post.

Book Thoughts Quirkology, Richard Wiseman

I breezed through that book fairly quick, not an enjoyable read like I had hoped. I gave it a 5/10. Some passages were really interesting, but they were few and far between.

I’m now 16 days ahead of schedule so this is an opportunity to either take a break, or read a much larger book. I’m going to decided today what to do.

Book Thoughts Alice Flaherty, The Midnight Disease

So. Book #19 and I’m rolling along quite nicely. One week ahead of schedule. I saw this book a long time ago, thought it was about the problem of being nocturnally creative. Not so. Even better, it’s a scientific approach to what drives people to write, and takes a historical approach. From Kafka’s hypergraphia to Robert Louis Stevenson’s 5 day cocaine binge when he wrote Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, so far the spectrum of examples are extraordinary. It’s highly scientific and wordy, but after Eno, it’s an easy read.

Book Thoughts Alice Flaherty, The Midnight Disease

Spent 4 hours Saturday/Sunday morning hurtling through the book….

I found it at times to be an uncomfortable read, like I was using “reading muscles” that had never before been flexed. Always sore, wanting to go back to using my usual muscles that were already toned and flexible. The subject matter was foreign, the person someone I couldn’t relate to in any way. I felt trapped in a foreign country with no money, no map, and all I could do was pick an arbitrary direction and start walking, but always curious about what was around the next corner…. And I kept walking, all the way to the last page. I saw and heard amazing things, and very much enjoyed the hardship. But I’m glad it’s over.

My own journal writing is more frequent and reads better.

Amazed at Eno’s ability to transfer his thoughts to the written word. It seems nothing is lost in translation. Whereas my mind and my pen don’t hear each other at all (in certain areas), let alone proper translation. I have the same problem with drawing and penmanship. Mind/Body disconnect.

I listen to music differently.

It transformed a very minor part of me, but completely.

Book Thoughts A Year With Swollen Appendices, Brian Eno

A couple recent books have got me thinking about my journal. I’ve kept a steady journal for about 3 years now. But no matter how hard I try it always seems to turn into a “comment box” that only gets negative responses, or complaints. Reading my journal is not something I do much. Lots of negative crap in there.

Anything I write that has any depth or meaning behind it, usually goes on one of my blogs. So if you follow my blogs at all, and have seen the “good stuff”, you can see how badly I need to learn to write, and keeping a better more profound journal is the simplest way to begin that process.

With that in mind I purchased the seemingly rare A Year With Swollen Appendices by Brian Eno. It’s his diary. It’s out of print so I paid a pretty penny, but something tells me it will be worth it. Brian Eno is many things, but most notably a producer, having worked with David Bowie, David Byrne, U2 (including producing Joshua Tree), James, Coldplay, etc… As his Wiki page states, he is known as the “father of ambient music”

It’s a long book, over 400 pages. But I know I’ll enjoy it, and I’ll TAKE MY TIME (which has been difficult lately). At the same time, I’ll write in my journal things that happen that are important, not petty and easily forgotten, and thus, Brian Eno’s book has already had an effect.

A Year With Swollen Appendices, Book Thoughts, Brian Eno

I finished Blink tonight and now have an infinite number of choices as to what to read next. Or I can just choose from the dozen or so books that I have ordered but have yet to read. I like these moments, and I usually jump into the next book and get it started. Usually I avoid a gap in reading. So far this year, I’ve started a book literally moments after finishing another. Even if it’s just a chapter or two, I’ll get started on it.

What I think I’ll do now is just make this blog post and go to bed without having a book to read. I’ll choose something tomorrow.

Blink, Book Thoughts, Malcolm Gladwell

Tonight I’m on a reading spree, having read about 70 pages, in the last hour, of Gladwell’s Blink. And it’s amazing. The topics and insights are remarkable. But I can’t share them, it’s not something I’m good at. I can’t take a topic or experience and put it to words. I can do that with my own thoughts and ideas, things that originate in my own head. But I can’t do it with books, or say, with movies. I’ll watch a movie and someone will ask me what it is about and I’ll have absolutely no idea what to say. Because I think in pictures, and in emotion. So when someone asks me about a movie like, The Reader, I see a dingy bedroom, a young blonde German boy, I see frustration, I see sex, I see the stubbornness that ruins a woman’s life, and I see a man’s life changed by a few months in his teenage years. I see lots of things, I feel lots of things, but if you were to ask me “What is The Reader about?”, you would get a blank stare and a response of something like, “well, Kate Winslet is in it, and it’s kind of sad, but it’s a great film.” Not exactly a descriptive answer, but really, that’s all you’ll get. Because the side of my brain that processes thoughts with imagery and the side of my brain that processes words don’t work together as well as they do in other people’s brains. But I like to tell myself that this is because each of those sides of my brain are extremely strong-willed and not as willing to share and collaborate with each other as other brains. I don’t see it as a weakness, I see it as a characteristic.

So that leads me to ask, what do I write here? What do you want to read about this resolution? Why do you come to this site? Why are you reading this post? When I read, as counterintuitive as it sounds, I read images. The words are pictures in my head. I don’t read letter by letter, I read pictures of words, and I combine those pictures of words to form pictures of sentences, which shape ideas in my head that I hold in a mental picture frame. Ask me what a book is about, even when the book is words and not images and you’ll get the same answer as you’ll get asking me about a movie. I can tell you what I saw, and I can tell you how I felt, but I can’t necessarily disconnect the books imagery and connect to the books words, and tell you what I read. I might have an anecdote here and there, but you won’t get much from me.

So what can I do for you? This site helps me track what I’m reading, and I’d really like to add something else that would benefit you, but it’s not going to be book reviews, and it’s not going to be in-depth critiques either. So what does that leave me with? Something like what you are currently reading? The psychology of the written word? How Brian Utley processes data written in the English language? Is that something that is beneficial to anyone but myself? And even then, is it beneficial to me at all? Is this post doing anything for anybody?

For certain, it’s getting this idea and these thoughts out of my head, and traditional psychology will tell me that is something worthwhile.

I’m reading Blink, I’ve had a shitty day. I spent a good two hours talking in depth with an agent from the FBI, I was left out in the cold when I should have been a part of a possibly momentous event, I’m listening to a song by The Eels that for some reason has developed meaning to me, and has left me half submerged in extremely heavy introspection. And a combination of these events have brought me here, asking a simple and self-serving question. What do you want? Do you want anything? Are you checking in to see if this resolution will fail? Are you checking in to see if the book I’m reading is interesting? Are you checking in with Brian Utley because you haven’t seen or heard from him in a while and want to know what is going on? Am I egotistical in these possible scenarios? What blogs aren’t ego-driven? But who cares?

There is really only one thing I’m certain of tonight. Tomorrow morning these words will appear in a dear friend’s Google Reader. As to what he thinks while reading, whether it’s imagery or words, I’ll never fully comprehend because the conveying of that information gets lost in the static that appears between thoughts and language.

So I’ll listen to The Eels, get back to my book, wait for the arrival of my son, and break down the events of the day and the reasons for my failures. And learn from it.

Book Thoughts

Well, some of the time. It’s a quiet room, a new room. We recently refinished our basement and I finally got an office of my own.

Book Thoughts

Quick read indeed. And also the book that I have gotten the most from. Despite this, I’m still a poor writer who struggles through virtually every sentence I write. And I still use redundant words like “virtually”.

So The Elements of Writing is excellent and I’m glad I’m through with it. On to the next book; a novel for a change. After reading The Elements of Style I feel better able to follow (and critique) an author’s story (and writing) much better than before.

I’ve read two novels so far this year, The Alchemist and The Book Thief, both of which I enjoyed. Next on the list is The Book of Dahlia which is unique because I rarely read books by female authors. I’m sure it’s coincidence, but that’s the way it is. Most of the books I read that are authored by females tend to be memoirs.

Also noteworthy in the life of resolution52 is my office, with a set of bookcases that I can look dreamily and proudly at. I’m still finding little trinkets in these books (the books having been buried under who-knows-what for a very long time), such as a plane ticket to San Francisco in one of my David Sedaris memoirs. I remember this trip with my father, who at the time was reading Stephen King’s The Stand. During this trip my father wrote in his journal every day, something that I picked up for a brief time. I have no recollection of why we were there. Despite this, it’s always fun to find things in books that bring back memories, as I mentioned in my previous post.

The picture above is of my new bookcases (a humble beginning). Pictures are always better to start a blog post with.

Book Thoughts, Elisa Albert, The Book of Dahlia

I recently ordered a Kindle, cancelled it, and ordered it again. When it arrived I was excited. I was excited about a couple different things. First, the ability to read faster. I knew that without the page turning, and with my love for gadgets I would read more, at every opportunity (not that I need more incentive, reading is incentive enough). Second, I could store all my books in one location instead of piles strewn across rooms.

Through the Kindle I quickly purchased On Writing, then I purchased Josh Hamilton’s biography, Beyond Faith. And that is when it hit me, when I noticed a change. What hit me was that reading using the Kindle had changed the concept of reading despite me not using it to read yet. I was simply purchasing literature and already the experience was less fun, less involved, and less personal. You see, I didn’t own anything. There was no paper, no receipt, no heft. There were no pages to hold receipts, mementos. There were no margins in which to write notes. But what there was plenty of, was empty shelves at home that would never be filled with books with words printed on paper.

I eventually read a few pages of the books I had purchased through the Kindle, then turned it off, re-packaged it, and requested a refund. After that, I repurchased the books, and they are sitting on my nightstand right next to me, right this very minute. I don’t need to turn anything on to see the contents, I can loan them to my friends, and I can write potential tweets in the margins to check back with later on.

The Kindle has it’s place. But for me that place certainly shouldn’t cost $359. I would love a place to store all my PDFs, and I’ll give you $75, but I’d still hesitate.

All my books have a story. Not just the story by the author, but a story that corresponds to the experience of reading the book. I can think of a few examples right now, with some illustrations.

1. On The Road – Jack Kerouac

So I’ve read this book a zillion times. I once had this book with me when I was walking with a friend through North Beach in San Francisco, behind the famed City Lights Bookstore when we came across a poem written on an alley wall. It goes like this (and I’ve written of this before):

i wonder how this city will look one thousand years from now,
burning bright from the ashes of our great passions;
will it’s people wear our faces?
will it’s drama’s cross worlds of travelled space?
will it’s magic enchant like the whispering beauty of here?
will it’s dreams grow from the spirited creations of now?
-Todd

All I had was my copy of On The Road, and a pen, and that was all I needed.

The book itself is a joy to read, and for years I would practice memorizing this little gem of a sentence that to me summed the book up quite nicely:

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes Awww!

2. Catcher In The Rye – JD Salinger

Another repeat book for me. According to the image of the receipt below, it was purchased on April 22, 1997. Most books that I own still have the original receipt. It’s one of my quirks and it comes in handy when a memory needs extra help to be recalled.

Another memory is attached to On The Road, quite literally. I had a Beagle, Desmond. He was named after the Jazz saxophonist in the Dave Brubeck quartet. So the fact that he “cut his teeth” on the best of the beats was no surprise, and didn’t anger me in the least.

I bought On The Road and Catcher In The Rye on that same trip to Barnes & Noble and just before a group of us boys went on a road trip to Mexico. I read both books during the trip, and made chapter notes at the beginning of each Catcher In The Rye chapter.

On one of the internal pages are some phone numbers and a quote that belongs to me saying:

These people don’t know me.

We were eating at a Denny’s-type establishment and I was looking around at all these interesting people and realized, maybe because of the alcohol in me, that there wasn’t anybody in this restaurant, in this city, maybe in this state, that knew me. And it struck me. And I felt small. But at the same time I also felt like a vein of gold in an undiscovered mountain and when saying “These people don’t know me”, it was more out of sadness that they would never get to know Brian Utley. I wasn’t a cocky kid, but Kerouac and Salinger put me that place, and I wrote it in the book. I remember it clear as day, almost 12 years later.

3. The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway

I spilled so much pico de gallo on this book. There was this little peruvian restaurant in Provo, Utah that I would eat at on a fairly regular basis. A carne asada burrito with a sangria and Ernest Hemingway. Our own little party. The book has stains throughout.

4. Immortality – Milan Kundera

Even to this day I have no idea what this book was about. And I’ve felt a little embarrassed by that until this week when Stephen King says something similar about reading passages that he doesn’t understand, shrugging it off, and remarking that some lyrics to his favorite songs he doesn’t understand either.

The history behind Immortality was that this was the book I was reading when I met Shannon Flores, my now ex-wife. The book still holds our wedding picture.

The receipt is still in this one as well, and I just realized it was bought on 6/6/1997. A significant date.

I could literally go on and on, I have a stack of books next to me that I chose at random just to see what I could find. Like the wedding picture, I had no idea it was there, and Senja certainly didn’t either. But there you go, the historical importance of books and the trinkets alongside them. Some quick associations:

Shampoo Planet – Douglas Coupland : Melanie from B&N talking about “giving him the time”, or some foolishness.

Einsteins Dreams – Alan Lightman : A book I literally couldn’t put down for hours and have read at least a dozen times.

The Perks of Being A Wallflower – Stephen Chbosky : A book written when it was probably much easier to get published. I was coming out of the beats and this contemporary first novel was the perfect segway back into my own generation.

The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald : Reading this book in our basement apartment, with leaves blowing down the stairs and into our house. I read over 70 pgs that afternoon, with my feet propped up on the kitchen counter.

What would I have to share if I started reading from the Kindle 15 years ago? I’m not sure. But I have a treasure trove of books downstairs, with all sorts of memorabilia from my past. A Kindle wouldn’t give me that.

Also, you know that moment in a book when the characters have been introduced, the story is taking flight, you’ve just finished page 82 and for the first time you bend that spine and crease that book right down the side? I love that. Try doing that on a Kindle.

A good friend eventually purchased my Kindle from me, saving me having to go through the Amazon return process. At some point I’ll revisit the device, but my love of books AND love of reading will most likely keep my reading habits in the new old-school.

Book Thoughts, kindle

It’s 4:40 AM and I’ve been awake for 3 hours. I’ve been desperate for sleep and I still find myself waking at oddball hours with words and thoughts racing through my head. Today is a perfect example.

I worked normal hours, got a haircut, dinner, and then spent an hour or so with my parents. We watched TV, sat in the hot tub, and eventually I bid them a goodnight. It was probably 9:00 PM. I read my Stephen King memoir for a few minutes before becoming suddenly, and unavoidably, exhausted. I’m asleep within seconds; lights on, book in hand, no blankets or sheets. Just…completely…out.

Now, historically I’m a terrible sleeper. It normally takes melatonin, GABA, valerian root…I could go on because, really, I’ve tried everything to help me sleep. Not only is it impossible for me to sleep without help, but once I’m asleep the slightest sound or movement wakes me. Also, I have sleep apnea. Major sleep apnea. And I refuse to wear a face mask contraption thing because, quite simply, it’s impossible to sleep with that thing on my face. I won’t even get into the sex appeal aspect of wearing a fighter jet’s oxygen mask at night. It’s not Iron Eagle sexy. It’s nowhere near Top Gun sexy. It’s closer to Bubble Boy sexy. Which is to say, of course, not at all. I digress.

I awoke shortly after midnight with my book on my nightstand, lights off, and several warm blankets on top of me. You may be thinking, a Mom is always a Mom, but no, sometimes Dad is Mom, and even though I have nothing to backup my theory, I know it was him who checked in on his 34 year-old son, who is estranged from his wife and kids, and had words of encouragement ready for me before finding me asleep, and tucked me in. And I don’t feel embarrassed, or as if I’ve regressed. I’m thankful for their strength and willingness to step in and let me know they are ready to catch me, if needed, from this free-fall.

And Stephen King is talking about process and method and the familiar spark hits and ignites the writer in me.

My room is cold. I move upstairs and it’s dark. And even though the book I’m reading is a memoir, it’s still Stephen King. And part of me thinks about Carrie, about Cujo, and about Jack Torrance. And because of that, my surroundings are transformed into what he would create, and I’m nervous. I stretch out my arms to feel for a wall or a light-switch and I think about the possibility of touching something else and examining this object a split second too long, as I realize too late, that it’s the arm, hand, and blade that brings about my violent demise. And all this despite the fact that I don’t read horror.

But this is how my early morning goes. There is no blade, no midnight intruder, and I grab a bowl of chips and some milk and return to my reading. But not before I publish this.

Happy Saturday.

Book Thoughts, On Writing, Stephen King

Book Thoughts